The Beginning
Today I experienced a tidal wave of money shame. I've felt the tidal wave before but didn't realize it was a shame tidal wave; nausea, soul-sickness, fear, anxiety, appetite suppression or acceleration, racing thoughts, a sinking feeling...these are all my shame symptoms balled into one tidal wave. Today, walking down a peaceful neighborhood street on my lunch break (for once listening to that little whisper inside that said "you need to go for a walk" instead of eating a candy bar) it came to me. I saw the tidal wave of panic for what it is: shame. And in the next breath I remembered reading somewhere that the antidote to shame is sunlight. Let the shame source out. Bring the secret fear out into the open. It's terrifying. I know. What will people think? But I have to do this. I believe I am not alone. I have to believe (and also, I googled it) that many of us suffer with money shame. I am going to put my story out there and heal myself. So from here on out, I...